I have been in Provo for about 3 years now.. and I naturally, since Provo is known for dating, have been on an excess amount of dates. In my dating experience I have come to know all of my “instant turn-offs” about a guy.
instant turn-off = something a guy says or does that makes me think inside either, “Ew.” “Why did he just say that?” “Please take me home instantly.” “I’ll pretend you didn’t just say that.” “Did your mother teach you anything???” etc. you get the picture.
so these my friends are my instant turn-offs:
1. When a boy asks you to hang out instead of asking you on a date. Either A. I’m not worth his $20 to take to dinner, or B. he just wants to hook up. In which case, no thanks.
2. When a boy asks you to dinner and then hot tubbing or back to his house for a movie. Thanks for dropping the money on a nice dinner, but now I know you only did that to butter me up to take me in a hot tub or on a couch in an attempt to get some action. So once again, no thanks.
3. When a boy doesn’t open your car door. It is such a simple thing and should not just be done on dates.. it should ALWAYS be done for a girl, always.
4. Blasting music on a date on the way to dinner or where ever you may be going. Did you take me on this date to get to know me or to show me your sound system? Quite frankly I couldn’t care less whether or not you have some stupid sound system.
5. Nice cars. There are exceptions to this. Some boys come from wealthy families and have been given nice cars and that is very lucky for them. OR sometimes, very rarely, almost never, a college student can actually afford a nice car. BUT if a boy has a $20,000+ car (that he went into debt for, or will later go into debt for).. I will never think “oh my gosh, that’s so hot, I feel so financially stable with him he has so much money, I feel so cool in this car.” I, 90% of the time think, “Wow, look how irresponsible/pretentious he must be. He spent $20,000+ on a car when he should have been saving that money for something more worth while.” When a guy has an okay car, that says, “he probably bought it himself, which shows he is responsible, independent, and works hard, and he is probably very smart with his money.”
6. When a boy doesn’t come up to the door to pick you up, or walk you to the door at the end of the date. Simple. Just be a gentleman, not that hard.
7. When you are on a date with a boy and he is checking out other girls. It’s just weird and awkward and girls always notice that you are doing it.
8. At dinner- DO NOT HAVE YOUR EYES GLUED ON ESPN IF THERE IS A TV THERE. ACTUALLY PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR DATE. I promise it will not kill you to miss esp freaking n for an hour.
9. I thought it was a universal rule to not text on dates? Apparently some boys didn’t ever get the memo.
10. Do not drive fast. Do not run stop signs, red lights, etc. It is not cool, we aren’t in the fast and furious, we are just going to Olive Garden for heavens sake and I would like to get there safely. Oh, and p.s. TELL YOUR DATE TO PUT HER SEATBELT ON.
my dad always told me if a boy doesn’t tell you to put your seatbelt on, don’t date him.
*i had a boy read this and came to me and said, “you are big girls you can put your seatbelt on yourself. you shouldn’t have to be told to put it on.”
This is true. However, I grew up with my dad always making sure I had my seatbelt on before we drove and my brother is the same way. They will not drive until all of us girls have our seatbelts on, and if we already have them they just check anyways to make sure.
I just think it is such a sweet gesture for a boy to care enough that you will be safe in case anything were to happen. Its the cutest.
11. Do not show your date the bill or how much you are tipping. A classy guy will never show you.
12. It is better to have silence than to force conversation. Silence is fine and not awkward.
13. When you pick a girl up introduce yourself to her roommates if they are in the room when you pick her up. It is just polite and roommates will give their opinion on you after the date, and I’m guessing you want them to say good things.
14. Always ask if she wants dessert. Don’t be cheap.. it makes a girl feel good when she feels like she is worth your money and 99.9% of the time we will order water with lemon, a small meal, and we are too full for dessert. So just ask and make us feel like we can get anything we want.
15. Don’t say: “soo tell me about yourself..” me and my friends hate this. Especially my friend Bree… what are we even supposed to say to this? Just ask one question at a time please. Asking us to tell you about ourselves is way to vague and annoying and makes me feel like I am in a job interview.
16. First dates: make them short. If she had tons of fun and likes you, it will leave her wanting more.. if she isn’t into you then you can both go home and that is that.
17. Do NOT be a Cole Van Leuvan (however you spell that infamous, egotistic kids name) and say such definite opinions about girls such as, “any girl majoring in Home and Family Living, or becoming a teacher, or anyone who went to hair school is underachieving, self-absorbed, or entitled. You sound like a complete idiot and no girl will ever want to date such a judgmental loser who would say such condescending things about a girl.
Anyways, was that overboard? I don’t mean to be negative nancy.. there are plenty of gentleman out there who do all of these things right and many more.. and I have been on many wonderful dates with respectful, great guys.. but some need a little help.
AMEN.
oops I’m on my sister’s account…that was from Rissa haha
LOVE THIS!!!
they are welcome to take lessons from your brother!
haha I love this! You should probably post it on facebook- there is some good advice here!
OK this needs to be in a bible somewhere for ALL guys to read. period. miss you
Okay I totally agree with all of this and it makes me so happy that you pointed out what should be so blatantly obvious to guys!
I seriously love this so much! It’s funny looking back on the things you said and realizing how many of those things my husband did right compared to other guys I dated! hahah I think you should share this with all “brovo’s” they could learn 16 things or so…
k i am so glad you girls agree with me!! boys need major help im going crazy here!
loved it!
Amber I can not imagine that number 7 would ever happen to you!
haha, is it creepy that i am married and totally read this whole thing and laughed the whole time?! Ambo you freakin crack me up. I am definitely having Anne read this tomorrow cuz she will definitely go off on a few of these things
haha, this is matt not anne
Honestly, this post is the reason I love blog stalking. I have no idea how I even came across your blog, but I am in love with your thoughts.
thanks girl
that is sweet of you!